Hilarious! Such a good read.
這是繼A.J Jacobs的《The year of Living Biblically》之後，使我在街上一邊看一邊禁不住開懷大笑的另一妙作。閱畢掩卷，尚且笑意不止。
《he’s just not that into you》by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. (from “Sex and the city”!)
Recommended to all ladies who have ever dated,
or are dating,
or simply never realized that they are dating
assholes.
(That probably covers the whole heterosexual female population..)
Here are some tips for my dear girl friends.
Rule #1︰向不主動的男人說不。
不要浪費時間日夜猜測一個男人是否對你有意思。如果他有心與你發展，他總有辦法讓你知道。若然他不採取行動，請他早抖。
－”Don’t get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he’ll do the asking.”
－”If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.”
－”Have faith. You made an impression. Leave it at that. If he likes you, he’ll still remember you after the tsunami, flood or Red Sox loss. If he doesn’t , he’s not worth your time.”
Rule #2︰向要你苦等電話的男人說不。
女人不需要守候在電話旁。若然他不給你打電話，即使他自稱「忙到就黎死」，真相就是這個人根本沒有把你放在心上。叫他這輩子也不要再打給你了。
－”The big question here is, ‘Is it okay for a guy to forget to call me?”‘ I’m saying to you, ‘No’”.
－”Oh sure, they say they’re busy. They say that they didn’t have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit.”
－”The word ‘busy’ is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes.”
－”Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want.”
－”Missing someone is a sign of a healthy relationship. Not respecting your need to have some form of connection with him while he’s away is not.”
－”If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind.”
－”Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time? Just because he’s busy doesn’t make him more valuable.”
－”You deserve a fucking phone call.”
Rule #3︰向不守小承諾的男人說不。
見微知著。不要小看一些日常的瑣碎承諾。若然你的男人時常隨口說了一些事情之後不做，簡單如「今晚call你」的小諾言都履行不了，這個人根本不值得你投資。叫佢慳d。
－”Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.”
－”If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do the same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you.”
－”So if a guy you’re dating doesn’t call when he says he’s going to, why should that be such a big deal? Because you should be dating a man who’s at least as good as his word.”
－”Here’s something to think about: Calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house, baby. And it’s cold outside.”
Rule #4︰向對你的生活沒有興趣的男人說不。
有些男人只愛訴說自己的煩惱﹑生活﹑健康﹑未來抱負…，但對你的事卻從來缺乏好奇心，從無提問。這種人其實只在跟自己談戀愛。叫他收檔吧。
－”When two people are connecting, they hunger for information about each other.”
Rule #5︰向暖昧的男人說不。
若然他遲遲不願把關係正式化﹑地面化﹑公開化，不論他有多麼好聽的理由，真相就是他不夠喜歡你。慳番啖氣，頭也不回的離開他吧。
－”An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of “ruining the friendship”.
－”Beware of the word ‘friend’. It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior. Personally, when I’m picking friends, I like the one who don’t make me cry myself to sleep.”
－”I know, every two weeks, once a month, seeing someone, having a little love and affection may help you get through the day or the week or the month－ but will it help you get through a lifetime?”
－”‘Better than nothing’ is not good enough.”
－”There’s a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he’s your boyfriend. Now quit goofing around and go find him.”
Rule #6︰向要你做第三者的男人說不。
－”Unless he’s all yours, he’s still hers.”
Rule #7︰向樂於惡待﹑愚弄﹑呼喝﹑嘲笑﹑數落﹑或以任何方式令你難受的人說不。
－”Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.”
－”You already have one asshole, you don’t need another.”
Rule #8︰向離開你的男人說不。
若 然一個男人選擇放棄你，從你的生命裡消失得無影無蹤，這個人根本再不值得你為他掛念﹑動氣﹑或追問「why?!」。甚至不再容於你的database內。 按「delete」，去recycle bin再「清除」。最好順便reformat一下hard drive，斬草除根，免得像冠希淫照一樣，翻屍回魂，徒添漣渏。
－”He might be lying in the hospital with amnesia, but more likely he’s just not that into you.
－”No answer is your answer.”
－”Don’t give him the chance to reject you again.”
－”Let his mother yell at him. You’re too busy.”
－”There’s no mystery － he’s gone and he wasn’t good enough for you.“
總結︰”Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. That’s always a good rule to live by, no matter what the special circumstances (i.e. excuses) are.”
他讓你不快樂，不停令你失望，歸根究底，就是he’s just not that into you，請接受現實。
這是一本讓女人勇敢地離開愛她不夠的男人的可愛小品。Painstakingly honest.
